A Field Guide to Courageous Curiosity and Taking Back the Wheel

Let’s start with a simple question, FNG: Who are you?

Not your job. Not your postcode. Not what your school report said about “potential.” Who are you — really?

It’s the kind of question most of us skip. But at The Farm, we believe real growth starts with courageous curiosity — the kind that digs beneath the surface to ask, What’s actually going on in here?

Not to judge. Just to know. Because if you don’t know who’s steering your life, how can you choose your direction?

Are You Your Past?

Your story matters. Your upbringing, your heartbreaks, the detours you didn’t plan. But your past isn’t your prison. It’s the soil you grew from — not the shape you must stay in.

Two people can have the same past and take entirely different paths. 

Ask yourself: What parts of my story still shape how I show up?

Are You Your Physical Body?

That body in the mirror — the one you dress, critique and occasionally insult — isn’t the whole of you. You are not your waistline or wrinkle count.

You are the life inside that frame: your values, memories, humour, and hope.

Try looking with kindness, not comparison. You’re here to live, not shrink. To inhabit, not apologise.

Are You What You Do?

You are not your job title, your gym routine, or your side hustle. What you do is a chapter. Who you are is the author.

Ask instead: What do I care about — even when no one’s watching?

Are You Your Children?

Being a parent is life-changing. But it’s not your whole identity.

You existed before they did. And you’ll exist after they’ve borrowed your car, left home, and come back for roast dinners.

You’re allowed a self beyond being “mum” or “dad.” In fact, your kids need to see it. Because when they watch you live fully — with purpose, humour and boundaries — they learn it’s safe for them to do the same.

Are You Your Race, Gender or Ability?

Your identity matters. Your culture, gender and abilities shape how you experience the world. But they are not the full story.

You are more than any label. You are the values you live, the choices you make, and the way you treat others.

Honour what’s true for you — and stay curious about what else is possible.

Are You Your Thoughts?

Thoughts come and go. Some helpful. Some harsh. 

But you are not your thoughts. You’re the awareness behind them. The one who notices, questions, and decides.

Curiosity gives you space. Space gives you freedom. And freedom lets you choose your next step.

Who’s Driving Who?

Is Your Inner Child at the Steering Wheel?

There’s a moment, FNG, where you lose it — not dramatically, just enough to know something’s off. Maybe your partner says something harmless and suddenly your chest tightens. Or your boss sends a vague email and you’re spiralling into “I’ve let everyone down and should probably move to a cave” territory.

You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You just might not be the one behind the wheel.

Because sometimes, without even realising it, the one reacting isn’t the adult you — it’s the child you used to be.

Meet Your Inner Mini-Me

Psychologists call it the “inner child.” We call it the kid in the backseat who somehow got the keys.

They’re the part of you that learned early on how to survive — maybe by pleasing everyone, maybe by avoiding conflict, maybe by shutting down emotions altogether.

They were clever. They did their best. But they’re not meant to be driving your adult relationships, career moves, or emotional decisions.

Yet here they are, still tugging at the steering wheel every time you feel unsafe, unseen or unworthy.

Step One: Get Curious, Not Critical

That inner child kept you safe. They adapted. They tried to make sense of a world that didn’t always make sense.

So don’t shame them. Talk to them. Seriously. Have a quiet word:

“Hey, little pal. Thanks for looking out for me all those years. You did great. But I’ve got it from here.”

That’s not woo-woo — that’s reparenting. It’s emotional leadership. And it’s the first step toward autonomy.

Taking Back the Wheel

Empowerment isn’t about being loud or in control all the time. It’s about knowing who’s speaking inside you — and choosing who gets the mic.

Sometimes that child still wants to shout. Let them. Then kindly usher them back to the metaphorical backseat.

Then you, the grown-up, respond. Not react. Respond.

That’s the work. Not instant. But liberating.

So, What Does Make You?

How to Build a Self-Aware Identity

At The FNG, we reckon it’s this:

• Your values — not the ones you inherited, but the ones you’ve chosen.

• Your patterns — especially the ones you’ve broken.

• Your relationships — with others, and with yourself.

• Your stories — not just what happened, but how you tell it now.

• Your willingness to grow — again and again.

You, FNG, are a living story. And you hold the pen.

A Final Word of Encouragement from The Farm

At The Farm, we don’t chase perfection. We plant questions. We water honesty. And we trust clarity comes through movement, not overthinking.

So here’s your invitation:
Spend five minutes today in courageous curiosity. Ask yourself something real. Something uncomfortable. Something freeing.

Like: Am I living in a way that reflects who I really am?

Then listen. Without judgement. Just interest.

That’s what makes you, you.